Fathers in Families for the Future

Presentation Notes: Leahcim Semaj PhD

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To paraphrase Chronix, I do not care if I am the only one who still believes that a family is the smallest unit of a people and the a family begins with a woman and a man.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cLzlUfBDNB4

Social psychological Model of Development

  • Child, adolescent, adult
  • Work, intimacy, parent

 Many women give men the option to be irresponsible

 The power of the woman he lives with

 Many men don’t make it past age 17

The conception and birth of many of our children involved no consciousness decision

 If you can’t feed your self. you are a…

  • Pet
  • Child
  • Domesticated animal

My Message to de man dem:

You must process sexual attraction through the lens of HEAD (Sound Judgement) and HEART (Good Feelings – without Pathological Emotional Attachments)

“When you bring your head down to the level of your heart, we call that rationalization. When you elevate your heart up to the level of your head, that is maturity and wisdom.

Place more value on your sperm.

 The importance of a Father’s name on your birth certificate

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The Role of Father

□There is a growing amount of science to back up the idea that the presence of a father has powerful and apparently unique effects on children

□”There’s no substitute for a father’s presence”

□Studies show that the risk  of juvenile delinquency □substance abuse □sexual abuse □early pregnancy  □dropping out of high school □6 times higher for children whose biological fathers are not part of their lives

□Young Children May look at the absence of their father as a personal rejection

□They see not having dad around as proof there’s something wrong with them

□Even in families that have a dad, it’s more important for him to be at the weekly soccer games than to be working late to save for a fancy vacation

□Luxuries aren’t really what a kid needs or wants

□During Adolescence Fathers become especially critical during adolescence

□Fathers are better at setting limits with teenage boys Teenage boys on the brink of losing control calm down quite a bit by having their dads show up it can keep things from escalating further

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Fathers and Daughters

□As fathers are to sons they may be even more so to the development and behavior of teenage daughters

□Girls are twice as likely as boys to become depressed after puberty

□Mood changes are often linked to estrangement from Dad

□Girls look to Dad to give them a clue about boys

□They miss out if Dad isn’t there

□The quality of the relationship between a teenage daughter and her father

□is predictive of the quality of committed relationships she will have in her young adult years

□Perhaps the most amazing finding of all:

□Girls who grow up without their biological father are likely to mature faster physically, reach puberty earlier than their peers □and get pregnant earlier

How Does This Work

□Early puberty may be a response to high rates of conflict and stress in divorced and blended families

□In the case of remarriage or blended families early menstruation may result from the presence of a non-related male in the home

 

Socio Biology Impact

□The body can detect the presence of a genetically unrelated “strange male” in the immediate vicinity

□That seems to trigger sexual readiness

□The earlier and longer the exposure to a stepfather or other unrelated male adult in the household the stronger the effect reports psychologist Bruce Ellis in his groundbreaking studies on development and family structure

□The same studies show that Puberty is delayed by the presence of the biological father in the household

□The more fathers interact with their daughters when they’re young the more puberty is delayed

Other Risk

□the trouble with early physical maturity is the likelihood that girls will not be emotionally mature enough to cope with male attention

Possible Outcome

□As a result of their precocious sexuality

□They now find No Panty Day attractive and exciting

 □The Message is Clear, Fathers count in ways we never imagined before

 

What Fathering Does:

□The range of positive educational outcomes found when fathers are involved in their children’s learning and in their schools is not simply a result of better-resourced-and-educated fathers being more involved.

□Frequency of fathers’ reading to 1-2 year olds is linked with their greater interest in books later

□A significant relationship is found between positive father engagement at age 6, and IQ and educational achievement at age 7

□A father’s education level is an important predictor of his child’s educational achievement

□Low paternal interest in children’s education has a stronger negative impact on children’s lack of qualifications than contact with the police, poverty, family type, social class, housing tenure and child’s personality

□In low income communities, fathers’ influence has been found to be more significant than mothers’ for boys escape from disadvantage

 

□Fathers exert greater influence than mothers on boys’ educational choices

□Fathers’ risk-avoidance behavior has a positive impact on sons’ educational attainment

□Fathers’ income predicts sons’ years of schooling

□The Impact of Fathers on Cognitive Ability and Educational Achievement

□Children with involved, caring fathers have better educational outcomes.

□A number of studies suggest that fathers who are involved, nurturing, and playful with their infants have children with higher IQs, as well as better linguistic and cognitive capacities.

□Toddlers with involved fathers go on to start school with higher levels of academic readiness.

□They are more patient and can handle the stresses and frustrations associated with schooling, more readily than children with less involved fathers.

 

□The influence of a father’s involvement on academic achievement extends into adolescence and young adulthood.

□Numerous studies find that an active and nurturing style of fathering is associated with better verbal skills, intellectual functioning, and academic achievement among adolescents

□A 2001 U.S. Department of Education study found that highly involved biological fathers had children who were 43% more likely than other children to earn mostly As and 33 percent less likely than other children to repeat a grade

The Impact of Fathers on Psychological Well-Being and Social Behavior

□The way fathers play with their children also has an important impact on a child’s emotional and social development

□Fathers spend a much higher percentage of their one-on-one interaction with infants and preschoolers in stimulating, playful activity than do mothers.

□From these interactions, children learn how to regulate their feelings and behavior.

□Rough-housing with dad, can teach children how to deal with aggressive impulses and physical contact without losing control of their emotions

□Generally speaking, fathers also tend to promote independence and an orientation to the outside world.

□Fathers often push achievement while mothers stress nurturing, both of which are important to healthy development.

□As a result, children who grow up with involved fathers are more comfortable exploring the world around them and more likely to exhibit self-control and pro-social behavior.

 

□One study of school-aged children found that children with good relationships with their fathers were less likely to experience depression, to exhibit disruptive behavior, or to lie and were more likely to exhibit pro-social behavior.

This same study found that boys with involved fathers had fewer school behavior problems and that girls had stronger self-esteem.

 In addition, numerous studies have found that children who live with their fathers are more likely to have good physical and emotional health, to achieve academically, and to avoid drugs, violence, and delinquent behavior.

In short, fathers have a powerful and positive impact upon the development and health of children

□Men who see themselves as simply an “extra set of hands” are not in a position to help the family fully flourish.

□While the direct relationship a father has with his child is of paramount value, fathers also exercise a strong influence on their children through the type of life they live in and outside the home.

 

The time a father spends with his children  is important for at least three reasons. First, spending time together enables a father to get to know and to be known by his child.

□A father can best discover his child’s virtues and vices, hopes and fears, and aspirations and ideals by spending lots of time with his child.

 □a father who spends lots of time with his child tends to be better at caring.

□Time spent together makes a father more sensitive to his child’s needs for love, attention, direction, and discipline.

□children often do see time as an indicator of a parent’s love for them

□80% of rapists motivated with displaced anger come from fatherless homes

  • (Source: Criminal Justice & Behavior, Vol 14, p. 403-26, 1978.)

When fathers are Absent:

□71% of all high school dropouts come from fatherless homes

  • (Source: National Principals Association Report on the State of High Schools.)

□70% of juveniles in state-operated institutions come from fatherless homes

□(Source: U.S. Dept. of Justice, Special Report, Sept 1988

□85% of all youths sitting in prisons grew up in a fatherless home

□Children have a higher rate of  asthma, headaches, anxiety, depression, and behavioral problems

□Teenagers are at greater risk of alcohol, tobacco, and illicit drug use, and suicide

□Adolescent girls are 3 times more likely to engage in sexual relations by the time they turn 15,

□5 times more likely to become a teen mother

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