by Leahcim Semaj
“When I let go of what I am, I become what I might be”. Lao Tzu
1. Identify what the experience taught you to help develop a sense of closure. This lesson is now over, time to leave the class – graduation day.
2. Write everything you want to express in a letter. Even if you choose not to send it, clarifying your feelings will help you come to terms with reality as it is now.
3. Remember both the good and the bad. Even if appears this way now, the past was not perfect. Acknowledging this may minimize your sense of loss. As Laura Oliver says, “It’s easier to let go of a human than a hero.”
4. Un-romanticize the way you view love. Of course you’ll feel devastated if you believe you lost your soul mate. If you think you can find a love that amazing or better again it will be easier to move on. (Remember that you had no control of how she came into your life.)
5. Visualize an empowered single you—the person you were before meeting your last love. That person was pretty awesome, and now you have the chance to be him or her again. Better than you were before – Model 2.0
6. Create a space that reflects your present reality. Take down her pictures; delete her emails from your saved folder.
7. Reward yourself for small acts of acceptance. Get a facial after you delete her number from your phone, or head out with friends after putting all her memories in a box.
8. Hang this statement somewhere you can see it. “Loving myself means letting go.”
9. Replace your emotional thoughts with facts. When you think, “I’ll never feel loved again!” don’t resist that feeling. Instead, move on to another thought, like “The best is yet to come”.
10. Remember, when life takes someone out of your arm, it is to open then for someone better. If she was perfect for you she would still be with you. Nature culls no viable life forms at all stages.
“We can’t be afraid of change. You may feel very secure in the pond that you are in, but if you never venture out of it, you will never know that there is such a thing as an ocean, a sea. Holding onto something that is good for you now, may be the very reason why you don’t have something better.” – C. Joy Bell